Least Favorite Athlete
I was on the internet a few days ago and came across an interesting post by the blog Rumors and Rants. They asked a bunch of their friends to tell them who their favorite baseball player
was growing up and why. That gave me the idea to email a few of my friends and ask them who is their least favorite athlete ever. I knew these responses would be good considering most of these kids are complete fucking assholes (our fantasy baseball league is named “Magic Johnson will die in 2 years” and everyone’s team has to do with AIDS). Best looking person goes first:
Me- Brett Favre
Who else could I choose but the one man who has tortured me from the very day I started watching football? Of the 10 most traumatic moments of my life, Brett Farve is probably involved in six of them. I could list 100 instances when Farve single-handedly crushed the Bears, but I’ve tried to erase most those horrible memories from my mind. There was the game in Solider Field when Farve rallied Green Bay to victory by throwing a 99 yard touchdown pass to Robert Brooks. Or during the 2001 season, when the Bears finished 13-3, but two of those loses came to Farve and Packers. More than anything, he symbolizes everything that Bears quarterbacks have not been for my entire life. He’s great, winning three MVP’s, and durable, starting over 240 straight games. At this point, Farve could be meteor on his way to the game and still be back for the second half. Since he started his first game for Green Bay, the Bears have shuffled through more the 20 different quarterbacks. You would think, just once, we could catch lightning in a bottle with one of these bozos, but of course it never happened. Guys like Cade McNown, Craig Krenzel, Jonathon Quinn, and Henry Burris all failed miserably while Farve continued to throw touchdown passes. Now it seems like every offseason is spent with the football world waiting to see if he’ll play next year. And that cocksucker always seems to drag it out until the last possible day; just when you think he’s gone, Brett Farve throws more touchdown passes.
Andy- Bill Laimbeer
My least favorite athlete of all time...Bill fucking Laimbeer. If you don't know who he is stop reading this and educate yourself on the history of the NBA. Laimbeer is actually from the burbs of Chicago and played college ball for the Fightin' Irish. He was then drafted by the Cavs, played in Italy, and traded to the Detroit basketball Pistons. Laimbeer is yesterday's version of Andres Nocioni-- A rough, harad nosed player who was a local fan favorite but hated by everyone else in the league. He was pretty much a fucking bitch though. Why? A little known fact about Bill Laimbeer -- there was some sci-fi TV show back in the day and they needed tall people to be in costume as aleins and fucking Bill Laimbeer wasa one of the aleins. The show flopped but this fact is not well known. Fuck you Bill Laimbeer. Unfortunately, Lambier was a four time all-star ana two time NBA champion. He also is one of a few players to have a winning record against Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, and Michael Jordan. He aslo had a videogame for SNES called Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball, a futuristic basketball game in which physical play is encouraged. He now owns the WNBA Detroit Shock....unforgivable. If you don't agree that Bill Laimbeer is a total duesche then I hate you. Only Bill Walton comes close in my hatred of tall white guys. Here are some notable Laimbeer moments.
Fought with Larry Bird during Game 4 of the 1987 NBA Playoffs Eastern Conference Finals. Both Laimbeer and Bird were ejected and in the end the Pistons won 145-119.
Fought with Brad Doughery in 1989. This incident caused the one game suspension that ended Laimbeer's consecutive games played streak at 685.
Had fought and wrestled with Sir Charles Barkley during a regular season game in 1990 (clearly Barkley threw him through a window).
Is often blamed by Laker fans as being the player responsible for James Worthy's painful fall during Game 1 of the 1988 NBA Finals. The incident happened early in the game where Worthy landed on his hip during a rebound play that involved Laimbeer.
Mike- Kobe Bryant
The Black Mamba is my least favorite athlete because he is a dirty player, and a rapist. As you may know that during this season he has cheaply thrown his elbows into player’s heads while he was shooting or dribbling (side-note: all three players are white.) A couple of years ago raped some girl in Colorado, and for some reason he came all over her face/snizz. In court, he decided
to blame his former teammate/butt buddy Shaq of raping women and that he would pay them to keep their mouths shut. He denied all the charges of rape and gave his wife an $8 million ring which pretty much said “I’m fucking guilty.” This ass clown changed his jersey number this year to 24 “to signify the second half of his career.” This is complete bullshit; he changed his number to sell more jerseys. This year Kobe’s 24 jersey is the top seller in the NBA. Fuck Kobe Bryant.
Kipp- Bonds, Pierzynski, Owens, Knicks
(Jeez, I ask for one guy and Kipp gives me three and the entire New York Knicks organization. Cubs fans….such overachievers.)
My least favorite athlete of all time wow…. where do I start?I could go with someone right now I hate and that is Barry Bonds. What a cocky piece of shit. I’m so glad Hank Aaron wants nothing to do with him when or if he passes him in homeruns. The guy grew from Soriano size to Paul Bunyan and I’m pretty sure its not all natural like he wants us to believe. And he knows damn well what he was rubbing on his ass and he knows it was not cocoa butter or whatever he claimed. Secondly A.J. Pierzynski. If that’s not spelled right who the fuck cares. What a piece of shit. Go back and stay in the WWE. Your acting will be better used there. And at least he’s used to being hit now THANK YOU MICHAEL BARRETT. But the one guy who just pisses me off and is all over TV all the fucking time T.O. What more has to be said? Everyone out there knows he’s a chump and I just wish Brian Urlacher had his chance at him, oh wait week three this upcoming NFL season he will. But I bet T.O. will have some sort of reason to either not show up or not finish the game. He’s afraid. With his alligator arms, just wait for the Bears D, they will make sure he is comfortable from a hospital bed.
And lastly I would just like to call out the entire Knicks organization. Isaiah way to go you got rid of one of the best coaches and replaced him with yourself. Good move. Starbury, shut up. Nate Robinson shut up. And Eddy Curry you spell your name like a fag, and it’s Eddie. But I would like to thank you for Tyrus Thomas, and hopefully a good lottery pick this year. Can’t wait to see you guys next year, hopefully you can propel the Bulls into the playoffs again.
Beau- Brent Petway
Since I myself am a Spartan of Michigan State, I will admit that I am biased toward the University of Michigan. There is a requirement on how far your head has to be up your ass in order to attend the U of M. Or for all of you Wal-Mart Wolverine fans, keep acting like you have the right to give a shit because I know in that downstairs closet the other ten hoodies have Notre Dame written on it. But anyway, my most hated athlete of all time is Brent Petway, former forward on U of M’s basketball team. I could name the number of times he has run his mouth off about MSU only to get his ass kicked and embarrassed, or academic ineligibility during his Junior year, or even his arrogance at the slam-dunk contest. But the funniest thing about Brent Petway is his rap “career”. Who makes a song called “No. 1” after winning the NIT? Brent Petway. Here is a sample of the lyrics he wrote after his U of M basketball won the 2004 NIT, “The NIT was just for starters, Naw ... we ain’t finished yet”. Right, because two more NIT’s followed, not even one NCAA tournament bid. Winning the NIT only earns you the right to be called the 66th best team in the nation. Petway’s 5.8 points per game career average gives the man no right to be arrogant. I’m just waiting for Brent Petway aka “Air Georgia” to make a rap song about being the number one pick overall in the 2007 NBA draft. By the way Maize Rage, that is the dumbest fucking nick-name ever and you are officially the worst student section in the country. So that is my opinion and if you get a chance, checkout the video “Michigan #1 by Brent Petway” on youtube.com, very funny.
I was on the internet a few days ago and came across an interesting post by the blog Rumors and Rants. They asked a bunch of their friends to tell them who their favorite baseball player
was growing up and why. That gave me the idea to email a few of my friends and ask them who is their least favorite athlete ever. I knew these responses would be good considering most of these kids are complete fucking assholes (our fantasy baseball league is named “Magic Johnson will die in 2 years” and everyone’s team has to do with AIDS). Best looking person goes first:Me- Brett Favre
Who else could I choose but the one man who has tortured me from the very day I started watching football? Of the 10 most traumatic moments of my life, Brett Farve is probably involved in six of them. I could list 100 instances when Farve single-handedly crushed the Bears, but I’ve tried to erase most those horrible memories from my mind. There was the game in Solider Field when Farve rallied Green Bay to victory by throwing a 99 yard touchdown pass to Robert Brooks. Or during the 2001 season, when the Bears finished 13-3, but two of those loses came to Farve and Packers. More than anything, he symbolizes everything that Bears quarterbacks have not been for my entire life. He’s great, winning three MVP’s, and durable, starting over 240 straight games. At this point, Farve could be meteor on his way to the game and still be back for the second half. Since he started his first game for Green Bay, the Bears have shuffled through more the 20 different quarterbacks. You would think, just once, we could catch lightning in a bottle with one of these bozos, but of course it never happened. Guys like Cade McNown, Craig Krenzel, Jonathon Quinn, and Henry Burris all failed miserably while Farve continued to throw touchdown passes. Now it seems like every offseason is spent with the football world waiting to see if he’ll play next year. And that cocksucker always seems to drag it out until the last possible day; just when you think he’s gone, Brett Farve throws more touchdown passes.
Andy- Bill Laimbeer
My least favorite athlete of all time...Bill fucking Laimbeer. If you don't know who he is stop reading this and educate yourself on the history of the NBA. Laimbeer is actually from the burbs of Chicago and played college ball for the Fightin' Irish. He was then drafted by the Cavs, played in Italy, and traded to the Detroit basketball Pistons. Laimbeer is yesterday's version of Andres Nocioni-- A rough, harad nosed player who was a local fan favorite but hated by everyone else in the league. He was pretty much a fucking bitch though. Why? A little known fact about Bill Laimbeer -- there was some sci-fi TV show back in the day and they needed tall people to be in costume as aleins and fucking Bill Laimbeer wasa one of the aleins. The show flopped but this fact is not well known. Fuck you Bill Laimbeer. Unfortunately, Lambier was a four time all-star ana two time NBA champion. He also is one of a few players to have a winning record against Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, and Michael Jordan. He aslo had a videogame for SNES called Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball, a futuristic basketball game in which physical play is encouraged. He now owns the WNBA Detroit Shock....unforgivable. If you don't agree that Bill Laimbeer is a total duesche then I hate you. Only Bill Walton comes close in my hatred of tall white guys. Here are some notable Laimbeer moments.
Fought with Larry Bird during Game 4 of the 1987 NBA Playoffs Eastern Conference Finals. Both Laimbeer and Bird were ejected and in the end the Pistons won 145-119.
Fought with Brad Doughery in 1989. This incident caused the one game suspension that ended Laimbeer's consecutive games played streak at 685.
Had fought and wrestled with Sir Charles Barkley during a regular season game in 1990 (clearly Barkley threw him through a window).
Is often blamed by Laker fans as being the player responsible for James Worthy's painful fall during Game 1 of the 1988 NBA Finals. The incident happened early in the game where Worthy landed on his hip during a rebound play that involved Laimbeer.
Mike- Kobe Bryant
The Black Mamba is my least favorite athlete because he is a dirty player, and a rapist. As you may know that during this season he has cheaply thrown his elbows into player’s heads while he was shooting or dribbling (side-note: all three players are white.) A couple of years ago raped some girl in Colorado, and for some reason he came all over her face/snizz. In court, he decided
to blame his former teammate/butt buddy Shaq of raping women and that he would pay them to keep their mouths shut. He denied all the charges of rape and gave his wife an $8 million ring which pretty much said “I’m fucking guilty.” This ass clown changed his jersey number this year to 24 “to signify the second half of his career.” This is complete bullshit; he changed his number to sell more jerseys. This year Kobe’s 24 jersey is the top seller in the NBA. Fuck Kobe Bryant.Kipp- Bonds, Pierzynski, Owens, Knicks
(Jeez, I ask for one guy and Kipp gives me three and the entire New York Knicks organization. Cubs fans….such overachievers.)
My least favorite athlete of all time wow…. where do I start?I could go with someone right now I hate and that is Barry Bonds. What a cocky piece of shit. I’m so glad Hank Aaron wants nothing to do with him when or if he passes him in homeruns. The guy grew from Soriano size to Paul Bunyan and I’m pretty sure its not all natural like he wants us to believe. And he knows damn well what he was rubbing on his ass and he knows it was not cocoa butter or whatever he claimed. Secondly A.J. Pierzynski. If that’s not spelled right who the fuck cares. What a piece of shit. Go back and stay in the WWE. Your acting will be better used there. And at least he’s used to being hit now THANK YOU MICHAEL BARRETT. But the one guy who just pisses me off and is all over TV all the fucking time T.O. What more has to be said? Everyone out there knows he’s a chump and I just wish Brian Urlacher had his chance at him, oh wait week three this upcoming NFL season he will. But I bet T.O. will have some sort of reason to either not show up or not finish the game. He’s afraid. With his alligator arms, just wait for the Bears D, they will make sure he is comfortable from a hospital bed.
And lastly I would just like to call out the entire Knicks organization. Isaiah way to go you got rid of one of the best coaches and replaced him with yourself. Good move. Starbury, shut up. Nate Robinson shut up. And Eddy Curry you spell your name like a fag, and it’s Eddie. But I would like to thank you for Tyrus Thomas, and hopefully a good lottery pick this year. Can’t wait to see you guys next year, hopefully you can propel the Bulls into the playoffs again.
Beau- Brent Petway
Since I myself am a Spartan of Michigan State, I will admit that I am biased toward the University of Michigan. There is a requirement on how far your head has to be up your ass in order to attend the U of M. Or for all of you Wal-Mart Wolverine fans, keep acting like you have the right to give a shit because I know in that downstairs closet the other ten hoodies have Notre Dame written on it. But anyway, my most hated athlete of all time is Brent Petway, former forward on U of M’s basketball team. I could name the number of times he has run his mouth off about MSU only to get his ass kicked and embarrassed, or academic ineligibility during his Junior year, or even his arrogance at the slam-dunk contest. But the funniest thing about Brent Petway is his rap “career”. Who makes a song called “No. 1” after winning the NIT? Brent Petway. Here is a sample of the lyrics he wrote after his U of M basketball won the 2004 NIT, “The NIT was just for starters, Naw ... we ain’t finished yet”. Right, because two more NIT’s followed, not even one NCAA tournament bid. Winning the NIT only earns you the right to be called the 66th best team in the nation. Petway’s 5.8 points per game career average gives the man no right to be arrogant. I’m just waiting for Brent Petway aka “Air Georgia” to make a rap song about being the number one pick overall in the 2007 NBA draft. By the way Maize Rage, that is the dumbest fucking nick-name ever and you are officially the worst student section in the country. So that is my opinion and if you get a chance, checkout the video “Michigan #1 by Brent Petway” on youtube.com, very funny.
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